Is your positioning so on point your conversion rate is at an unbelievable 156.89%? Are you being chased by banks with concierge services and account managers, desperate to have you as their prized 'Platinum Ultra Partner' because you're so money?
Yes?
Then the diagnosis is clear: You're standing the f*ck out too much. You're suffering from success. Here are my 30 secret tactics to help you blend back into the crowd:
1. Always be afraid of anything that's in demand. This means that money is flowing but that others are already there. Obsess over creating demand from scratch so you have your own blue ocean with no competitors.
2. Only share widely accepted truths and best practices. Don't ever attempt to have an opinion that others might disagree with.
3. Aim to please everyone. Your customers, your weird cousin Jason, your neighbor's dad who was a taxi driver thirty years ago... Pay particular attention to the opinions of people who have an Instagram account for their pets and suddenly believe they can do your job.
4. Be as much of a generalist as possible. Why specialize in anything when you can be mediocre at everything?
5. Spend months (if not years) developing your brand assets (like your logo). Ensure everything is connected to your "purpose" and is "meaningful."
6. Spend 8h/day (minimum) in Google Analytics. Because who needs actual human interaction and customer feedback when you have data?
7. Create a new category with confusing language. This is the gold standard. Make it hard for customers to understand what you do. But VCs will loOooooOooove you for it.
8. Jump on the latest, hottest channel even if no one else is there. Obsess over trying to find a place where no one else is. Always be first. Always.
9. Get as generic as possible when describing the problem you solve and for whom. The more vague, the better. For example, "Our expense tool saves an average of 32 minutes a day" is too specific. "Save time, live a better life." is much stronger.
10. Spend as much energy as possible on the things you hate. Force yourself to like them because that's how billionaires do it. I think even Elon Musk tweeted about it, so it must be true.
11. Stay on your own and never ask for outside help. You already know everything there is to know.
12. Jump on the latest tool to help you improve your productivity by 0.0006%. This is so so so critical if you want to get an edge. Never sit still, never settle, never be content.
13. Treat customers like rational beings who make decisions like the economists predicted. Be as logical as possible to make sure you end up at the exact same place as your competitors.
14. Learn from people who have never invested resources β such as time, money, and/or effort β to address the problem you're solving. After all, predicting what you may do in the future is much more reliable than recalling past experiences.
15. Only focus on communication. Focus all your attention on that small area of marketing. Forget the rest, such as diagnosis, strategy, being in the right place, at the right price...
β
I'll send you the other 15 tomorrow.