"It's exhausting."

This is Melissa talking. She's a US PR professional who reached out after reading one of my past essays about fighting your own story.

"I grew up in poverty and dropped out of school when I was 16," said Melissa. "I never even finished high school, let alone got any college education."

The kicker?

"And here I am, working in education [a Public K-12—primary and secondary education]."

She continues:

"I have spent years trying to scrub that person out of my 'professional persona,' making sure always to speak and communicate very formally and act like an educated person even though I am not. And just like you say, it's exhausting."

But this line from her email made me smile from ear to ear: "Now, 12 years into working in this job and industry, I am thinking I should stop trying to fight my story. I have more in common with the people we serve (we have schools with up to 90% poverty) than those I work amongst."

Phew.

Her conclusion?

"Maybe that's the brand I should lean into, and maybe there are times when I can communicate better using the more casual register that comes from my background. It may be a way that I can tell more authentic stories."

She realized that her past was NOT something to be ashamed of. In fact, it made her special. It helps her understand the kids at her school better, as many of them are also from impoverished backgrounds.

I know it's easy to share insights like that over email. And it's much more difficult to action them. I guess all I can share with you right now is...

Try to fight a bit less against your own story. Show more of who you are and what you believe. See what it feels like. And then do it again. And again. And again.

Try to use less energy to fight against who you are and instead use it to triple down on it, so you stand the f*ck out.